Thursday, February 12, 2009

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I Hate Valentine's Day and You Probably Do Too

It’s that hallmark time of year again. Fortunately, whether you love or hate it, there are plenty of activities around Miami to help you forget an ex or escape the humdrum cliché of dinner and a dozen roses. Here are my top picks:

For anyone who wishes to punch an ex in the face: Crunch is offering free boxing classes this Saturday at 11am at the Washington Avenue location. Work out your aggression against your ex by taping a picture of him or her on your trainer’s mitts or on one of the gym’s punching bags.

To uncover your inner voyeur: Miami Beach’s World Erotic Museum will be open until midnight and offering complimentary drinks with the price of admission. If you’re single, make sure not to drink too much. You may meet another lonely soul and 405 pounds looks like 105 pounds when you’re wasted.

For the artsy-fartsy: The Miami Beach Cinematheque will be showing the silent classic, The Man Who Laughs. The rumor is that this film inspired Heath Ledger’s performance in the Dark Knight. But here’s the best part: the original score will be accompanied by a live Opera singer.

To scare an uptight date or to taste sugar, spice, latex and vice: Fetish Factory’s annual Valentine’s Day bash is sure to satisfy any craving you may have. Just make sure to dress the part; no jeans allowed. Get your creative juices flowing and hopefully the lashings will come a rollin’.

If you have hate in your heart and want to let it out: Check out the Hate Art Show at 3841 NE 2nd Ave, Ste 103. The name of the exhibit says it all. So, if you’re a hater and you know it, clap your hands. If you’re a hater and you know it then your face will surely show it; if you're hater and you know it clap your hands.

For the hopelessly broke: The Wynwood Art Walk will be operating business as usual. There should be plenty of free finger food and booze! And for a little class (I mean crass) consider topping off the night with a heart shaped pizza from Papa John’s. It’s sure to get a couple of laughs or looks of disgust.


  1. Wow! I love that there are so many activities that involve anger, getting back at your ex and hating Valentine's! If I would have known, I wouldn't have bothered flying 2,000 miles to get laid! For the next miserable Valentine's I guess...

  2. Hi!

    I hope you have a spare moment to check out my brand new Love Suck Song... it's a punkrock/showtune hybrid and is the largest all-lady youtube collaboration ever!